Sexual Well-Being: Getting our Mojo Back

Some of us are reacting well and enjoying new ways to virtually connect with family, friends, groups, and gatherings, while others seem to be absolutely done with two-dimensional platforms. If you are reading this, I am guessing that you are not “over the internet” and still looking for articles to read, learning new ideas, and haven’t hit bottom.

I’ve created this blog and an online women’s sexual empowerment community during this COVID timeout because I have the time and I want to make a positive impact on women’s lives. I absolutely miss being a part of groups, human touch, and feeling the collective energy of a great group. However, I do not miss the drama and parades of peacocks showing off their prideful selves back in the pre-COVID, face-to-face days. I wonder if you are thinking the same thing- “when this is all over, I am going to be much more selective with my time and energies. Life is too short to waste in places that I do not enjoy.”

I am very fortunate to be quarantining with my spouse. But I also understand that so many folks are not as fortunate. They are single and alone, or in a relationship with someone who has not been kind. Perhaps, you are locked down with a large family where there is chaos, noise, and everyone is under one another’s feet? Some folks are with their spouse and do not feel as fortunate. Being with one another, every day, for one year might make interactions very tense. No doubt, we have all had to adjust to a new normal in our relationships.

For all of these reasons, I can see that you might have placed sexuality on the back burner. You might feel that it is not as important as other parts of your life. I would argue that sexuality is a part of every individual and is core to who we are. If you have not watched my YouTube videos yet, you might want to do so. In this week’s video, I explain when a rose is no longer a rose! It became part of my Valentine’s Day romance in the most fun and sacred way! The video series explains why sexuality is core to who we are. Dr. Toni Bear Vlog

The problem about placing sexuality on a shelf somewhere to “use” later, is it is a part of you! It is okay not to feel sexual right now, however, it is a part of your overall well-being. If you have placed your sexuality as a low priority, let’s start with romancing and being kind to yourself. If you are in a relationship and living with your partner, why not take this time as an opportunity to try something new? (I hope you requested my list of 14 love tips!). So many of us are stressed out under lockdown. Last week’s blog offered five healthy reasons to engage in sex! Stress-reduction was one of those reasons. Single folks, treat yourself to an evening of masturbation and explore- you! And lastly, if you feel under extreme pressure in a chaotic household, please remember to be more tolerant, calm, and accepting of your partner and housemates. We are all having an extraordinary experience this year.

I would encourage everyone to stay safe by not engaging in random sexual encounters and endangering those you love to the COVID virus. Whether we are partnered or not, we need to learn to both emotionally and physically love ourselves. It is important that we do not socially isolate- physically isolate, yes- but social distancing has not been mentally healthy. Encourage your loved ones to get on the internet and connect with other people. I am very happy that you decided to virtually connect with me today. Spread the love with others!